She was Lo. Plain Lo in the morning.
Standing four feet ten in one sock.
She was Lola in slacks.
She was Dolly at school.
She was Dolores on the dotted line.
In my arms, she was always...
..Lolita.
Light ofmy life.
Fire ofmy loins.
My sin.
My soul.
Lolita.
But there might have been no Lolita at all...
..had I not first metAnnabel.
We were both 14.
Whatever happens to a boy during the summer he's 14...
..can mark him for life.
That hotel you see, the Mirana,...
..that belonged to us.
She wanted to be a nurse.
I wanted to be a spy.
All at once we were madly, hopelessly in love.
Four months later, she died oftyphus.
The shock ofher death froze something in me.
The child I loved was gone.
But I kept looking for her...
..long after I'd left my own childhood behind.
The poison was in the wound, you see.
And the wound wouldn't heal.
I probably should have joined the priesthood.
Instead, I accepted a teaching post at Beardsley College in America.
I had a summer free before the Fall semester.
I thought I'd finish a textbook I was working on.
A survey ofFrench literature for American students.
I took my advance...
..and went to live at the house offriends of my late uncle's, the McCoos,...
..in the New England town ofRamsdale.
But on arriving, I found that it was no longer there.
But a friend ofMrs McCoo,...
..a widow, Mrs Charlotte Haze,...
..agreed to accommodate me.
- Goddamn dog!
One minute. Something's burnin'.
Lord have mercy!
Mrs Haze'll be down in one.
ls that Professor Humbert, Louise? Tell him I'll be down in one.
She'll be down in one!
Monsieur Humbert.
Uh, yes.
Mrs Haze, is it?
Charlotte.
I am so pleased to make your acquaintance.
Frank McCoo told me all about your scholarly pursuits.
I myself just cherish the French tongue.
Um... I wonder, could l...
Mm. Come in.
Harold and l, the late Mr Haze,...
..we simply adored Mexico.
The whole idea of a culture that sophisticated.
And we think of them as primitive.
I mean, look at us!
Indeed, yes.
Upstairs.
I and Lo have our rooms just there.
And this is your room.
Space for a desk, anything you want.
And at $20 a month, you can't beat the price.
And here's the bathroom. It's a bit of a mess.
And this is the kitchen.
Now, if you have any special food needs, you just say.
I don't know if Ramsdale can provide you with foie grass, like you're used to.
What's that?
Uh... timetable. For when I um...
I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but I think I've got to go back to New York.
- Oh, you're not too favourably impressed. - No... There's a Baudelaire conference...
This is not a neat household, but you would be very comfortable here.
Very comfortable indeed.
Don't say no until you've seen the piazza.
Come.
Well, I call it the piazza.
It's so much work to keep it healthy and green.
It's a life's work.
That's my Lo.
And these are my lilies.
I love lilies.
- Lily's a nice name, don't you think? - Beautiful.
Beautiful!
How much did you say the room was?
A normal man,...
..given a group photograph of schoolgirls...
..and asked to point out the loveliest one,...
..will not necessarily choose the nymphet among them.
You have to be an artist,...
..a madman, full ofshame and melancholy and despair,...
..in order to recognise the little deadly demon among the others.
She stands...
..unrecognised by them,...
..unconscious herself of her fantastic power.
- See you later, alligator. - After a while, crocodile!
- Real soon, Daniel Boone. - Get fucked, Daffy Duck.
# Don't know why... there's no sun up in the sky
# Stormy weather
# Since my man and I ain't together...
You woke me up.
- Sorry.
I'll stop.
Dolores! Have you made your bed?
No, I have not made my bed.
I asked you to make your bed, didn't l?
No. You asked me if I'd made my bed.
Make your bed.
- Now!
I long for some terrific disaster.
Earthquake.
Spectacular explosion.
Make your bed!
Her mother instantly eliminated.
Along with everybody else for miles around.
Lolita...
..in my arms.
I'm sleepy today.
Me too.
Have you been having trouble sleeping?
You can't imagine.
Am I getting a zit?
What?
Do you see a pimple on my chin?
You look absolutely perfect to me.
Wanna see my chin wobble?
OK.
Humbert!
Humbert...
Is she keeping you up?
I beg your pardon?
No!
No. No, I'm...
No.
Well, it's probably just a 24-hour bug.
He was looking forward to meeting you.
Has anybody seen my other sneaker?!
Your breakfast, Professor Humbert.
Don't tell Mother, but I ate all your bacon.
- Dolores, that was Mrs Farlow. - So?
Rose has a temperature and can't go to Hourglass Lake.
- Oh, yeah? - Do not use that tone with me!
Are you ready for church?
I'm not going to that disgusting church.
- Young lady... - No picnic, no church.
That is fine with me. It is your conscience.
I want your room spick-and-span when I get home.
- And wash your hair, young lady. - I did wash it!
- When? - A couple of months ago.
I could be a dancer.
That's a major option.
Cos I do have a natural grace.
- You know. A kind of sad beauty. - Sort of sad is right.
I'd like to see you dance sometime.
Little girls always want to be ballerinas, don't they?
I know I did.
But I was - how should I put it? - a tad too... plump?
- Is that the right word? - Yes.
I'll get more Vouvray.
Make her take us to Hourglass Lake tomorrow.
- Me? - Mm-hm.
She'll do anything you say.
She's getting a thing about you.
Whisper, whisper.
What are you two so cosy about?
Um... Did I ever tell you both that...
..l was once a...
..that I was once a... um...
Uh... that l... I was once a cook in the North Pole?
- A cook? - Well, not exactly a cook.
I opened a few cans.
It was a weather expedition. And I shot a polar bear.
- No! - Well, I didn't hit it.
Why shoot a polar bear? That's a lousy thing to do.
Because I found it...
..with its face - Iisten to this - in the ice-cream mixer.
I couldn't let that pass because we lived off ice cream.
You're out of your gourd, Humpy.
Will you stop fidgeting with the doll?
And now we all think that Lo should go to bed.
Lo?
What do you mean "we", paleface?
So, as I was saying, there I was with my white polar-bear gun...
-..to blend in.
It's for me!
Hello?
- No, I'm sorry. She's busy. - I hope you will forgive her bad manners.
- Now what?!
Look! It's my modern dance creation!
Dolores Haze, turn that music down!
She is a pest. Just slap her hard if she interferes with your meditations.
Psst!
Hum...
Hum, do you know that I have one most ambitious dream?
To get a hold of a real trained maid...
..like that German girl that the Talbots spoke of...
..and have her live in the house.
- No room. - Oh, chéri, chéri.
You underestimate the possibilities of our humble household.
We'd put her in Lo's room.
I intended to turn that hole into a guest room anyway.
But where would Lo sleep?
Little Lo does not enter the picture at all.
Little Lo goes straight from camp to a good boarding school...
..with strict discipline and some sound religious training.
I won't go!
I want all of these name tags sewn on your clothes by tomorrow.
I don't want to go.
I didn't ask your opinion!
I don't want to go and you can't make me.
Look, we all think it's a good idea.
Professor Humbert thinks it's a good idea, I think it's a good idea, and you are going!
Double-crosser!
Ow!
I asked you to put that suitcase in the car an hour ago!
Louise, thank you so much for helping the poor child.
Goddamn it! Dolores, I told you to put this lunch basket in the back seat!
Why always tell me to do everything?
I'm the one that won't be eating it.
Louise! Brussels sprouts and meat loaf for dinner.
- All right. Drive careful. - Thank you. Let's go!
- Bye, my baby. - Bye, Louise.
- You be good. I'm gonna miss you. - Agh!
Dolores!
Let's go!
Speed it up!
Get in the car!
Now what?! That child!
- Louise, maybe tenderloin. - That'd be good.
I'm waiting!
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...
..not to make me wait in the car.
If you weren't going to camp, I would ground you.
Mr Humble!
These damn stairs are gonna be the death of me.
Mr Humble!
Mr Humble?
I have something for you.
Oh, yes.
I'm leaving, but I'll be back later.
What the hell he doin' in there?
This is a confession.
I love you.
I'm a passionate and lonely woman...
..and you are the love ofmy life.
Now you know.
So please, destroy this letter and go.
I shall return by dinner time and you must be gone by then.
You see, chéri, ifl found you at home,...
..the fact ofyour remaining would mean only one thing.
That you want me as much as I do you, as a lifelong mate,...
..and that you are ready to link up your life with mine for ever and ever...
..and be a father to my little girl.
Two weeks later, we were married in a simple ceremony.
Big Haze made sure little Haze was not in attendance.
Mm. This is bliss.
This is heaven on earth. Isn't it, Hump?
Mm.
Are you working on your book?
Yes.
Oh, a secret drawer. What's in there?
Locked-up love letters.
Where's the key?
Hidden.
"I'm in the Mood for Love")
During the six weeks we'd been married,...
..l successfully avoided most ofmy husbandly duties.
Throughout July, I'd been offering Charlotte various sleeping tablets,...
..which she gobbled down happily.
She was a great taker ofpills.
# I'm in the mood for love
# Simply because you're near me
# Funny, but when you're near me
# I'm in the mood for love
# Heaven is in your eyes
# Bright as the stars we're under
# Oh, is it any wonder...
The last dose I had tried had knocked her out for four hours.
But that was not enough to guarantee me an undisturbed night.
Hum...
At last!
Mm.
I think I must be immune.
Wh... What would you give me if you wanted to uh...
..to knock out...
..say, a cow?
J- Just for... seven or eight hours.
So that...
..you know, the cow... would stay asleep?
Even if you were tossing and turning next to it.
Well...
Why don't you...
..try these?
They're new.
My wife takes them and...
..l don't hear a peep out of her all night long.
Sounds like just the thing.
I'm home!
Hello?
"The Haze woman."
"The fat cow"?
"The obnoxious mamma"?
Well, the "old stupid Haze woman" is no longer your dupe.
Charlotte!
You're a monster.
- You're a despicable, criminal monster.
- Now... - If you come near me I'll scream!
- Let me just... - Get away from me!
I'm leaving tonight.
You can keep this house. I don't care.
But you will never see that miserable brat ever again.
Now get out of my sight!
Charlotte, you mustn't...
You mustn't ruin our lives.
That's...
That's just... That's just a fragment of...
..a novel I'm writing.
I used your name on those...
..just for... convenience.
I'll get us a drink.
A nice stiff drink will clear both our heads.
Charlotte, I made us a nice stiff drink!
Yes?
But that's ridiculous.
There's this man on the phone saying you've been killed, Charlotte.
Charlotte?
I'm... I'm sorry.
Stand back, please.
Where's my wife?
- Are you Mr Humbert? - I am.
She ran right in front of me.
I... I didn't even see her.
Sir?
I'm sorry, sir.
Is this Mrs Humbert?
Sir,...
..is this Mrs Humbert?
Oh, God...
Oh, God... Oh, God!
She was walking to the mailbox.
She was going to mail these letters.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
I'll go and... Iie down, officer.
- Will that be all right? - You go right ahead, sir.
I'll just be across in the house if you...
Is that the Enchanted Hunters Hotel?
Yes. This is Mr Humbert.
Tomorrow night.
Just the one night, please.
Yes, a room with twin beds.
For two. Well, one and a half people, really.
It's just for me and my...
..my short... my small daughter.
She should be here any minute.
I sent Charlie for her over at the barn.
- Who's Charlie? - Come on, come on.
It's such a pleasure to watch our young people make friends.
- So uh... who is this Charlie? - Here she is.
Hi, Dad!
# Hum and Mum, Mum and Hum
# Hum and Mum, Mum and Hum...
- How's Mum? - Well... The doctors aren't quite sure.
It's something abdominal.
Abominable?
Abdominal.
She's in a special hospital over in Lepingville.
So... I thought we'd... we'd...
..go over to Briceland,...
..spend the night there and... visit the hospital tomorrow.
Or the next day.
So, did you have a good time at camp?
Mm-hm.
You know, I missed you.
I missed you a lot.
Well, I didn't miss you.
In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you.
But so what? Cos you don't care about me any more anyway.
Why do you think I don't care about you?
Well, you haven't kissed me yet, have you?
Oh!
- Uh, I'm sorry, officer. - See a blue sedan, same make as yours?
- They might have passed you at the turn. - Blue sedan? No, I don't think... agh!
- We didn't see a blue sedan. - No, I don't think we did.
Are you sure it was blue? I saw one that was more purple.
Or maybe it was more red.
All right, OK. Thank you.
- Thank you!
Don't shoot, don't shoot!
Wow! Looks swank!
# No, I will never tell lies
# But still I'm called Buttercup...
Good evening. I have a reservation in the name of Humbert.
Twin-bedded room.
I called last night.
- Two people. - Oh!
I'm sorry, Mr Humbug.
I held the room with the twin beds for you till 6.30, but I didn't hear from you.
We hold till 6.30. And with the flower show and Glory of Christ convention...
My name is not Humbug. It's Herbert.
Humbert.
Just put us in any room. Put a cot in for my daughter. She's very tired.
Perhaps I could put you in room 342. It has a double bed.
I expect we'll manage. My wife may be turning up later.
Please sign here, mister.
It's a nice dog, huh?
I love dogs.
Well, that's my dog.
He likes you.
Doesn't like everybody.
Who does he like?
He can smell when people are sweet.
He likes sweet people.
Nice young people.
Like you.
Here we are.
Thanks very much.
Wait a sec. You mean we're sleeping in one room?
With one bed?
I've asked them to send up a cot,...
..which I'll use, if you like.
You're crazy.
Why, my darling?
Because, my darling,...
..when my darling mother finds out, she'll divorce you and strangle me.
Lo,...
..listen to me a moment.
For all practical purposes, I am your father,...
..and I'm responsible for your welfare.
Now, we're not rich.
So when we travel, we-we're sure to be... I mean, we'll be thrown together.
Sometimes.
Two people sharing the same hotel room...
..are bound to... enter into a...
How can I put it? lnto a kind of um...
The word is "incest".
I feel like we're grown-ups.
Me too.
We get to do whatever we want, right?
Whatever we want.
Well, now.
Who had the pie?
Me.
Whaddaya think? Are they me?
- Don't look now. - Why?
The guy over in the corner.
Don't look! He was staring at us.
Don't you think that guy looks exactly like Quilty?
What, the dentist?
Of course not. His brother.
The writer Quilty. You know, he writes the plays.
The smoking guy. He smokes the Dromes in the ad.
We saw him in the lobby with his dog.
If I tell you how naughty I was at camp,...
..you promise you won't be mad?
Tell me later.
I want you to go to bed.
I'll go downstairs while you...
When I come up, I want you to be asleep.
All right?
I've been such a disgusting girl.
Just let me tell you.
Tell me tomorrow.
I'm going to go now. All right?
Good night, Dad.
Night-night.
Gentlewomen ofthejury,...
..if my happiness could have talked,...
..it would have filled that hotel with a deafening roar.
My only regret...
..is that I did not immediately deposit key number 342 at the office...
..and leave the town, the country, the planet, that very night.
The Lord knows all, the Lord sees all, the Lord forgives all.
Where the devil did you get her?
- I beg your pardon? - I said the weather's getting better.
It seems so.
Who's the lassie?
Um...
It's my daughter.
You lie. She's not.
What?
I said July was hot.
Where's her mother?
Dead.
Oh. Sorry.
Why don't you two lunch with me tomorrow?
That clerical crowd will be gone soon.
Um...
We'll be gone too, thanks.
Good night.
Sorry. I'm very drunk. Good night.
That child of yours needs a lot of sleep.
"Sleep is a rose" the Persians say.
Smoke?
Not just now, thanks.
Good night.
Enjoy.
Get back in the boat with Charlie. You don't have to do that.
Back in the boat.
I'm thirsty.
I'll bring you something.
You... You played that with Charlie? At camp?
Don't tell me you never tried it when you were a kid.
Never.
I guess I'm gonna have to show you everything.
Gentlewomen ofthejury,...
..l was not even her first lover.
What are you reading?
Nothing.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Lo...
You know that friend of yours - Charlie - at camp?
Was he the first one?
Can we please get off the subject?
I felt more and more uncomfortable.
It was something quite special, that feeling.
An oppressive, hideous constraint,...
..as ifl were sitting with the small ghost of somebody I hadjust killed.
Jesus!
What?
Can we stop at a gas station?
We can go anywhere you like.
Well, I need a gas station.
I hurt inside.
Well, what do you expect?
I was a daisy-fresh girl, and look what you've done to me.
I should call the police and tell them that you raped me, you dirty old man.
- Just wash the windscreen, would you? - Yes, sir.
Got some cookies.
I want to call Mother in hospital. What's the number?
Get in. You can't call the hospital.
Why not?
Just get in the car.
Slam the door.
Why can't I call my own mother if I want to?
Because your mother's dead.
Shh... Shh...
We made up very gently that night.
You see, she had nowhere else to go.
It was then that we began our extensive travels...
..all over the United States.
# Now the native population and civilisation is fine
# That civilisation is the thing for me to see
# Whoa, bongo, bongo, bongo
# I don't wanna leave the Congo, no, no, no, no, no, no
- When's the best time to buy a bird? - I don't know. When's the best time?
When it's going "cheep!"
Don't say I never gave you anything.
Ow! Don't! I'm trying to drive!
Don't do that! Oh, no!
If it goes out the window, I won't stop.
Don't! What are these? Hair grips?
# Civilisation
# No, no, no, no
# I'll stay right here
Look! They have Magic Fingers.
Good.
I need to shower.
Give me a quarter and a dime.
What for?
For the Magic Fingers.
My magic fingers aren't enough?
# Amor-r-r, amor-r-r, amor-r-r-r-r
# This w-word s-so s-sweet that I r-repeat
# Means I adore you-u-u-u-u
# Amor-r-r-r-r, amor-r-r-r-r, amor-r-r-r-r...
Good shower for once, Lo!
First-rate temperature control!
Ow! Argh!
- Agh! Lo! - Hmm?
My God, Lo! Don't flush when I'm in here!
What is that?
What's what?
That thing in your mouth.
It's a jawbreaker.
It's supposed to break your jaw. Want one?
Just give it to me. I've had it with that noise.
- Come on, spit it out. I've got a headache. - It's good!
Look, just give it to me, will you? Spit it out.
You look a hundred per cent better when I can't see you.
We took a circuitous route - to put it mildly.
In the back ofmy mind was our eventual destination.
Beardsley College, where I would finally take up my teaching position.
But in the front ofmy mind was the need to keep going, keep driving.
Lo, that's the last time I let you drive this car.
Serve into this square.
And, despite our tiffs,...
In the square, Lo. Try and get it in the square.
..despite the fuss she made, and the danger and hopelessness ofit all,...
Aim for my head.
..despite all that, I was in paradise.
A paradise whose skies were the colour ofhell flames,...
..but a paradise still.